The topic of spirituality is featuring more and more in coaching. It is something very personal, even intimate. Precisely for this reason, what the term means is different for every individual, as individual as the experience is. Equally personal is the view as to whether spirituality also encompasses religion, or vice versa, or whether the two are distinct or even opposed concepts entirely. The actual question is how we deal with spirituality in coaching. First and foremost, coaching provides a non- judgemental space for conversation and experience. The focus is never on whether the form of spirituality you are interested in or have already chosen is right or wrong. What is, is. There must be a reason why spirituality is a need or a longing for so many people. For my part, I am open to many things and do not have any ready-made answers. If you wish to raise the topic of spirituality in coaching, the focus is not on judging it, but on exploring whether and to what extent spirituality is a resource for you – one that supports you on your journey forward and in your personal growth – or a hurdle or burden that stands in your own way.

When is spirituality a resource?

• Spirituality can offer comfort or a sense of purpose during difficult times. • It can place one’s own existence and actions within the context of a larger picture, in whose service you see yourself. This puts the adversities encountered on your journey into a perspective of useful or essential learning experiences. • It can alleviate fears and loneliness. Research also tells us that people who believe in something live longer and happier lives. • It can also help people take responsibility and feel a sense of agency. For instance, if you believe in reincarnation, you could infer that you should resolve your problems in this life, because otherwise you will encounter them again in the next and have to go through it all over again. Simply giving up then no longer seems like a solution, but like a way to make your next life difficult, too. • Traditionally spiritual techniques such as meditation and mindfulness can also bring calm and help regulate the nervous system during stressful times. This makes your inner resources more readily available because your autonomic nervous system learns to leave alert and survival mode. In turn, this enables you to ‘zoom out’ from the stresses of everyday life and take a broader view of what is possible. It enables the brain to make better decisions – namely, drawing on the full consciousness and creativity of the so-called neocortex rather than on the automated survival reflexes of the limbic system. It is no coincidence that mindfulness techniques have found their way into relaxation training (e.g. MBSR – mindfulness-based stress reduction) and into psychotherapy (e.g. ACT – Acceptance and Commitment Therapy).

When does spirituality become

an obstacle?

• Spirituality and religion can entail limiting beliefs. These can narrow your view on reality, thereby reinforcing themselves and leading to a narrow or rigid view of the world and your own life. That can be self-defeating in the end because it is contrary to the principles of agency and personal sovereignty (if those are among your pursuits, that is). • Spirituality and religion can load fear, guilt and/or shame upon natural aspects of the human condition and, in doing so, use these unpleasant emotions to control behaviour, rather than promoting personal growth and autonomy. • Spirituality can be tainted power issues if it demands subordination or even submission to a dogma, an organisation or a ‘guru’, again surrendering personal agency - albeit pleasant that feeling of belonging and community the personal autonomy is traded for may be. • Spirituality can also undermine an individual’s sense of agency and even cause them to lose themselves in magical thinking. For earthly problems require earthly solutions and cannot simply be meditated away. • Spirituality can make withdrawal and avoidance behaviour seem comfortable. You might tell yourself that meditating or praying for a better world is action enough, whilst in reality leaving the world to its own devices. As a result, your own life can become the sum of passively experienced external circumstances, rather than arising from your own decisions.

The important question

Coaching means to foster your own self-efficacy, capacity for action and expansion into personal sovereignty. In this sense, the truly relevant question is: Does your spirituality help you build a way of being, living and acting that makes sense to you and aligns with your core values? Will it help you become the kind of person you want to be? Or does it hold you back? Often it is not a case of either/or, but rather a matter of discernment. It’s the same as with everything: some things are helpful, others aren’t. I’m keen to hear about the way you see the world, including what you see in the invisible one. See also: • Main page • More blog articles • Contact info • Coaching for HSP - and what High Sensitivity is • Coaching for the highly gifted • Contact info: Ask your questions or make an appointment